"This place is a tomb."
- Larry Fishburne Jr.
Holy Shit. So I've picked this film as my #99 because I think it provides a good example of what my goal is for this series. The purpose of this is not to simply bash film after film, but to provide readers with legitimate reasons as to why they should not see certain movies.
Event Horizon is the perfect example of a decent film - which you should NEVER see.
Let me explain.
Again, I have not rewatched this film in order to write this short article. Instead I have taken a look at the trailer (embedded above) as a way to job my memories.
1997 - 1983 = 14 years old when I saw this. I was at a friends cottage and it was looking like a night of staying in to watch a movie. It was me, my brother, and two of our friends. When wander over to the video store and spend about a half hour looking around for something to rent when we stumble across:
Well, being the huge nerds that we were, we're all thinking, "Hmm, I could go for some Sci-Fi tonight"
But what of that tag line:
INFINITE SPACE
INFINITE TERROR
Noted. But for some reason the four of us refused to see it as a potentially scary film. I'm pretty sure this is what went through each of our heads simultaneously:
"I will say the professor from Higher Learning looks kind of menacing. But I shouldn't be worried. Remember a few years ago when you saw Jurassic Park three times in theaters? Well no need to worry! Dr. Grant will keep you safe! He's one of the best heroes...
SMASH CUT TO:
(a couple of hours later)
Fuck you! Other way around bitches!!! Sam Neill is the bad guy!!! THE FUCK!?
I'm pretty sure I end up spending a large portion of the film covering my eyes. Not necessarily because I afraid of what I'm going to see next on the TV, but because I'm legitimately concerned about Sam Neill tearing out my eye balls with his finger nails - which by the half way point of the film, he has done to himself!
This film was simply the most surprisingly horrifying film I've ever seen. It was completely unexpected. Everything about this film was unexpected. It...was...terrifying.
I must say that I'm a little torn writing this article, because the fact that it makes this list means that I'm informing you not to see it. And you shouldn't. It'll mess with your head! But I can't help but be curious about it. I wonder if it would still hold up if I saw it again. But alas, I won't. Instead, I'll leave you with one more anecdote.
A couple of years ago I went camping with four friends from university. At around three in the morning we're still out sitting around a camp fire and chatting when my buddy Dan says, "Okay. Everyone...don't even think about it, just say the first thing that comes to mind. Scariest movies you've ever seen..."
Nearly a decade later, five individuals called out the same title in unison.
Mr. H
No comments:
Post a Comment